Welcome to Yukari's
by FeeptheNinja
Summary: "... A magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Hakurei Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days..." [A series of oneshots about the seemingly cursed eatery, Yukari Yakumo's Pizza. It skips around in time a bit.]
1. A Party at Midnight

_You can't._

* * *

Flandre slept in Pirate's Cove.

She slept there because that was, for all intents and purposes, her home. Sendai had made it very clear that she was to stay inside the curtains, and wait, until she could hear the kids outside and Yukari had stopped singing - and only _then_ could she come out and play. The childlike little youkai had made an immediate connection to the game of hide-and-seek, which Sendai had felt was good enough - _yes, sure, Hide-and-Seek, whatever. Just remember to stay in there until it's your turn to come out, okay?_

And the children loved it, of course, with the surprise and excitement and specialness of it all, and simply seeing their happy faces, hearing their delighted squeals, made Flandre more than happy to stay in the curtains the rest of the time. In fact, being _outside _for too long now just felt a bit wrong to the blonde.

And so, she had been fast asleep behind those purple starry curtains when she was stirred by the sound of humming, Koishi's humming (the satori hadn't been out to play in more than two months, she'd realized after the fact, and there wasn't any reason she would have been out to play _then_).

And the sounds of five, high-pitched voices, pealing in laughter, which meant one thing-

_Children!_

Wide awake in but a moment, she sat up on the hard wooden floor of the Cove, blessed vampire's ears perking slightly as she strained to hear the very minutae of the lovely, joyful noises outside. She didn't question the time of this apparent party. She didn't even _know_ the time. All she could think about was her own excitement, how much she wanted to burst out of the curtains and run and jump and play. She squirmed and wiggled, waited for Koishi's voice to quieten.

But when Koishi's voice died down, so did the childrens'.

A noise of distress.

Confusion.

Fear.

Flandre poked her head slightly out of the curtains - used her silvery hook to pull the fabric to the side. _What was happening?_ She wondered. _Why did they sound so-  
_

And then the screams began.

* * *

The beast smiled. Wiped off her hands on a stolen suit, stolen suit, stolen hands. Dirty, dirty. Who knew such small bodies could have so much blood inside of them, so much? Why, the walls were nearly coated. Interesting. Definitely interesting. She would have to make a note of it, she knew, for next time. Oh yes, there would certainly be a next time. How could there not?

And she smiled.

That was one thing about her, about that filthy murderer, that Flandre would remember and take with her to the grave.

_She smiled. _

Standing amongst five tiny, broken, slashed-up bodies, five innocent, extinguished lives, the horrid purple monster - the nue - tipped back her head and_ laughed._ Laughed as the blood on her face trickled into her mouth. Laughed as the blonde girl trembled in fear, in horror, and though she couldn't identify it yet - _hatred. _Laughed, and laughed, and laughed._  
_

Turned to the little youkai, little vampire-pirate, lurched a foot towards her, half-transformed into _the night watchman, he was her friend she thought he was **good** _and the purple-black-beast just leered and laughed. Sharp knife she'd used to butcher the little ones still dripping still bloody and Flandre screamed too just like the children had just as loud just as high.

She screamed so loud and so long she thought for sure Yukari, Reisen, Rumia would hear would come _help_, would come _do something_ but nobody came. And the nue smiled, grabbed her _gently - _the woman just_ murdered five children in the middle of the pizzeria, _why would she be so_ gentle -_ and cooed, stroked her face and hair with dirty bloody murdering stolen hands.

**_"You saw me."_**

Flandre shuddered, and tried very hard not to throw up on the spot.

**_"You sneaky little git."_** A chuckle, almost affectionate. **_"Oh, well. I'm sure you won't tell on me, now, will you, dearheart?"_**

The sharp end of the knife brushed against Flandre's neck, and the poor child felt hot tears sting her eyes as she whispered an agreement she could barely hear over her heart's frantic terrified beat in her ears.

Another chuckle. **_"Good girl. You know, I can see why he liked you~."_** The monster released her grip on the little blonde, leaving the girl to sink to the ground as the nue slipped effortlessly into the full guise of the rather... _recently_-deceased night guard. A kind man. Just a bit too kind, in fact.

She turned back to look once more at the utterly satisfying, visceral scene, the sort of thing a _true _youkai embraced. The blood, the fearful expressions now frozen on the faces of those gullible, gullible brats - the one tearful witness, even, yes, the setting itself. A place of merriment and joy during the day, now defiled by the cover of night.

Absolutely picture-perfect.

She hummed, another grin splitting her face. Oh, so _very_ perfect.

And that was when Flandre saw the other defining feature of that murderess, the next thing to be burned into her nightmares, among the bodies and the shrieks and the hot stinking red on the floors and the walls.

Purely red eyes.

Even the pupil.

The nue smiled again, tipped the night-guard's cap, and walked away.

* * *

**No I don't have a nearly fully fleshed out Touhou Project/FNAF crossover verse shut up that's nerd stuff. Y'all nerds disappoint me for not populating this section. Now ****_I _****gotta do it. Thanks.**

**I'll probably update this sporadically with more vaguely connected oneshots because no I can't sit down and write a full story. I'm so sorry.**


	2. melting

Melting.

Yuyuko is melting.

She is melting, and it is hot, and there is blood-spray and the sick death-smell and deranged giggling over on top of it all swirling into the middle of it dribbling and foaming over her mouth and her eyes and her head and-

She is awake. How long has she been awake? She is awake and staring at the ceiling of their apartment, lazy fan spinning, concrete ceiling, and Youmu is there. She looks scared. Is she scared? Why is she scared?

You touch the line of blood, rolling droplet down your cheek, and smile faintly at Youmu. That's how you feel. That's how that job makes you feel. Faint. Not like smiling. It is daytime outside the dark curtains of your shared room shared bed shared life, and you remember that this is because of your fainting-job. The one with ghosts. All of them have ghosts. You see the dead. It is what you do. But you were hoping this one **wouldn't** have ghosts. Especially not so many. So sad. So angry.

She's still shaking you. Worried. There isn't anything to worry about, you say, finally, forcing words through your groggy sick mouth. You are fine. You had a bad dream. Your eyes are burning. Another droplet of crimson red makes its way, lazily, down your face. That is probably what she is worried about.

You say you probably scratched your eye when you dug your face into the... blanket. Pillow. One of those. You say, again, as clear as you can through a tongue like cotton and a mind that craves the sleep and peace it has been denied, that you are perfectly fine. You smile at her, stronger, reassuringly. You are okay. You are okay. You are okay.

(You cry the red for child-creatures who died too fast to cry tears for themselves.)

-/-/-/-

You wake up when you hear the scream.

You hold yourself up with one arm, lean over Yuyuko, call her name once. Her eyes are open but she can't see you. She's still dreaming. The dead are comfortable speaking with your girlfriend, fully human though she may be, and they tell her their darkest secrets, their grave-secrets, the kinda you don't usually get to share with anyone. All of them. An honor. And you wish they didn't. You wish they'd let her sleep.

You aren't surprised, though, to see her waking in cold sweats and screams and sobs. You woke up in sweats screams sobs too, thirty years ago (your youkai blood you hated let you be here for her today), thirty years ago to the **day** when you took that fucking job with those psychopathic broken shells of youkai who needed to look at their hands to tell right from left. You hated them. Vehemently. You fantasized about their death daily.

And now that your Yuyu spent her nights immersed in the death rattles of those beasts bearing the heaviest soul-burden, you regret those thoughts. She comes home in the mornings with bloodshot eyes and neat printed papers from the library and tells you about two more fucking murdered children, tells you how they put four youkai to sleep for one's anguished crime, tells you how twenty two - TWENTY TWO - people's deaths are tied to the fucking franchise. Twenty two. You say she must be swimming in ghosts. She smiles, tired, and says she is.

You see the glimmer of fear behind her eyes when she says that. You see her breath hitch, her knees shake ever so slightly. She is brave. Very brave. But raw souls carry raw emotion. You can't stand ghosts. She is braver than you.

You come back to the present because she is crying.

And it's red.

She notices, in a moment, slowly, that you look terrified. Your girlfriend is lying on the bed and leaking blood from places humans don't bleed, places no one is supposed to bleed. Bloody eyes are reserved for statues in churches with too much holiness for even stone to handle, and hidden mechanisms, and pranks, and horror movies.

It's not a lot, she's saying, and you think she must have snapped because she's goddamn bleeding from her eyeballs. Crying. Blood cry. You blink down at her, shake her shoulder because she must still be delirious because she would be more **upset** if she were okay.

But she just smiles, slow, reassures you, so slow, so tired, and you curse the job stealing the sleep right out from under her. Not for the first time, either. Stupid fucking pizzeria, stupid fucking horror attractions that couldn't leave well enough alone.

She reassures you, again, rolls over slightly and tugs you down, wraps one arm around you. I am okay, she says, I am okay, I am okay. You return the hug, a little too tight, whisper something you're not proud of because she says not to speak ill of the dead but you do anyway. Just today.

She sighs and runs her fingers once through your short white hair, nuzzles in close, stains it red, you don't care.

"Please try and rest." You say, and you try to will the ghosts and the nightmares away.

"I'll try." She says, closes her eyes and resigns herself to a fate you yourself could never succumb to.

Yuyuko is a braver woman than you are. And you know it.


End file.
